| love can mend your life but love can break your heart |
[18 Jan 2005|11:56am] |
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system of a down |
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Friends-
once you think you have them
turn your back
and they're gone
you're forgotten
existance was whole
now just a lie
between promises and lies
nothing's what it seems
tears and laughter
just pieces in a game
there once was a time
when i believed in another
that escaped as they walked out
i was left in the dark
alone, to fend for myself
no one to turn to
no one could hear me
solide cries just an echo
feelings and memories are haunting
black and solide
just left in the dark
-it got lonely
but no one could hear me
scream after scream
and these tears did flow
engraving a perminant path down my cheaks
the pain burned holes in my heart
each with a name
this is what my friends did to me
i won't be where you left me
-12-16-04
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| old stuff |
[29 Dec 2004|11:35pm] |
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Him-ressurection |
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well here is some old stuff that i wrote back in freshman and sophomore years in high school. There is one thing about my poems that were written back then, they were short, brief and to the point. that and the detail which is so great i wish to put it in a descriptive poem contest or something. There are better i am just giving you the low down.
This one expresses how it feels to cry. i am sure you all know, in case you dont, here it is.
Tears
they tumble down
and turn smiles
upside down
they torture your heart
and they
tear you apeart
but most of all
they make you stronger
every tear that falls
this is about living your life in disbelief. about not seeing the truth when it is clearly in front of you, when you see that movie where the girl knows her guy is cheating on her, but refuses to realize it... this is what she feels. you may call her stupid but it hurts. and she may be emotionally too weak to stand up and take in all that is happening. so she lies to herself,...and she lives by it. and all the pain goes away...here it is.
Feeling Low
inside a lie
is where i hide
i cant seem to
find something to do
about all of it
alone is where i sit
cuz im feelin low
nothing to help me so
i cant help the feeling
and all the pain im dealing
My personal favorite is this one. it brings back a clear image of what i was thinking about. suffering and pain yes, but every clear thought...check it out.
Hard To Deal
my useless words pour out of me
wondering why i can not see
life means nothing more to me
than a dead bird in his tree
my feelings ignored everyday
nothing changes while i pray
my heart breaks more day by day
what more is there to say
nothing can change the way i feel
with stupid thoughts i can not deal
what more is there to deal
my heart is crumbles beggins to peal
Here is one i wrote for my "friends" i had back then. Little did I know just what I was writting about re-ocurred. My friends that I had then deserted me now and I was left to feel this all over again. Like one big re-occuring dream/nightmare or whatever. This one means a lot because I felt it twice.
living in a dream
to all my friends, if it wernt for them i wouldnt be where i am today
lost inside a dream,
is what my life seems.
twiztid and turned,
my heart is burned.
dont understand why,
but its written in the sky.
my life has been scared,
and loved from afar.
it doesnt seem simple,
this life i call mine,
love is supposed to be devine.
i just dont get it,
feels as if i dont fit.
my life makes no sence,
and it has no suspence.
my heart turns black,
its been under attack.
This one was actually published in a book printed out by the website that i wrote it on. it was nothing really special and i have the book somewhere up in my attic and everything. Its not really all taht special just the surreality at last
Lost
i am lost in a world
with no one to hold my hand,
no one to guide me,
in this new, unloved land.
every move i make
is sensed by a beast
who is hungry for my blood
to whom i would make a lovely feast.
my tears mean nothing.
i am forever gone.
every step i take
is a new day to dawn.
as i slowly disappear,
my flesh withers
and my blood pours out;
my skin withers.
i am now dust and bones,
soul free in the earth.
it wanders around,
lookin' for a victim first.
MY FIRST LOVE POEM EVER WRITTEN!! !ISNT IT BEAUTIFUL?!?!!? too bad the person i wrote it for is no longer in my life. but i still remember all the flustered feelings building up inside of me. the first time i actually thought i could love another being. yeah it was confusing, but i felt it.
Abused
my heart was overwhellmed with love at first sight,
when i saw you, i knew things were right.
you told me i was beautiful, had a pretty smile,
for me you said you'd walk a pretty mile.
the kiss you stole was the best i've had,
and even the thought, i was lucky, for that i was glad.
but now i only have began to see,
that you broke my heart, and you lied to me.
i can't move on but i am forced to inside,
there are so many feelings i have to hide.
i don't appriciate the thought of being used,
i'm not gonna let myself be abused.
I think this one explains itself
Fate
ever since the very first day
i never knew the words to say
i wished upon the very first star
to my suprise, here you are
how could luck be so great
i never relied on so called fate
my intuition tells me somethings up
unto my heart the pain has struck
i'm making wishes day by day
if life's a play then where's the stage
my life is changing by every glance
i would stop change if i had a chance
pain equals hurt through my eyes
where's the choice that spells out wise?
I dont know why i called this next one "wonders" but my confused little mind choose that title for a reason.
Wonders
As the sunsets over the blue shimmery sea,
all of my thoughts rush out of me
my mind keeps spinning with golden thoughts,
and with all the love people have brought
im thanking god above for the kindness recieved,
and hating the people that hate has retrieved.
i'm wondering without you what would life be?
im so glad that you have found me!
yet still a darkness is lost in my heart
as nature works its way ripping me apart
i try to stay stable and strong i aprear
but what in life should i have to fear?
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| written sometime last year |
[02 Dec 2004|04:27pm] |
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chimaria-down again |
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Let's carefully mend my life together
do you think anyone will notice, i'm falling apart?
I can't hide inside this lie forever.
I can't live my solo life anymore.
This is me, I can't accept that.
my battle of life is hell.
tears destroy my happiness.
The memories float around in my head.
If I could save all the tears I cry,
I'd drown myself in them
It's ashame i can't live without self critisizm.
it's ashame i can't accept who i am.
it's ashame i can't look in the mirror,
without thoughts of negativity.
Why do i outweigh my self?
the pain overwhelms me happiness.
can't i rid the scars of last summer?
everytime i see things,
the scars come alive again.
If you need me, i'll be aimlessly wandering the highway
and if you need me, i'll be running through oncoming traffic
with tears in my eyes hoping something will hit me
saying "this is how it feels to die"
but i dont really think you'll notcie-i'm gone forever
You never did, never did
And in this endless game it's me
us
my stomach,
the piercing pain would never take my thoughts away
not like you'd care anyway.
**If i hold my breath, will this fade away?
somehow i can't see through this foggy reality.
my understanding of life
has just burst in front of me
it's getting harder to trust people
in what seems to be my life,
Life's getting harder
not sure who to trust
i'm sinking in this quick sand.
quicksand called life.
*************************
November 29, 2004
I'm hiding inside the lies that you fed to me
i'm storing them inside
and throwing them at you
I don't want them and
i don't like you
I will watch you fall
and laugh as you do
the things you've said, your lies...all of them
you'll see
when i throw them all back and choke you
make you feel every thing you made me feel
make you cry those tears i cried
and suffer what i did
you can tell me then that you love me
but i wont believe any word from you
worthless liar
WORTHLESS LIAR, I AM OVER YOU
*written For Trevor
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| just to start you all off... |
[02 Dec 2004|03:30pm] |
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children of bodom |
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April 19, 2003
I couldn't say sorry enough.
I've hit rockbottom. My life is messed up.
As I walk down the street with tear filled eyes.
crying "god take me! please,I can't survive."
People stare, at this tear jerking girl.
I wanna break down and scream.
I can't think staight dont belive.
I can't go on living like this.
Can't take life anymore.
I wanna kick you more.
Why cant I be alright?
Instead every 5 mins I cry.
I look like a fool becasue of you.
What am i supposed to do?
My hunger grows, beginning to show
Confused, I cry and I feel so alone
Can't I do anything right?
I cant take anymore....
another written around that date...
I will make you feel my pain.
even if I go insane.
it's all the same
to you SHUT UP
shatter the glass, sharpen the blades
scream out the tears, memories fade
flashing lights, call out my name
do what you please, i wont play your game
you cant write me off this time
you can dream, you can scream
you'll go nowhere, but insane
erase the hands of time
faded pictures, nothing to claim
waste my time, i go insane
but you will feel my pain
shut up, go away
i hate you AND you games
you hurt me enough
My life just ended today
and one last one dated October 24th, 2004
sitting around, thinking about my past
looking at my life, and what i had
Friends who came, friends who walked out
Friends who judged, and ran thier mouth
i'm thinking about, all the pain i've been through
pretended to be loyal and true
where are they now?
when i need them most, nowhere to be found
the tears i cried, were left undried
just walked right bu, wahtched them fall to the ground
what kind of friend, talks behind my back, lies to my face
where are they now?
called them sisters my whole life
was I mistaken, learned the hard way
I'll never go back
trying to make the best
of what my life has become
so many changes....so little time
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| poetry |
[02 Dec 2004|03:02pm] |
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Iced Earth- I died for you |
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ok, for all of you who wondered where i disappeared to...the answer is i have another journal. Now to answer any upcoming questions...about if i am deleting this journal? No...im putting poetry on here. so if you want to read about my daily life and whatnot leave a comment at ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) with3ringrose and let me know. i will add you back after that. I'm not deleting any past entries that i have made....just adding poems and ifi want to, artwork. so i guess just see you all later...
ta-ta
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[30 Oct 2004|07:07pm] |
concerts i am interested in:
Wed, 11/03/04 Troc
07:00 PM KMFDM $22.50
11/11/04 the usesd
e factory 8 pm $16.00
07:30 PM Unwritten Law TLA
Fri, 11/12/04 10:00 AM $10.00
7:00Pm Korn- trenton nj, **********A MUST!!!!
11/30/04 31.50 7 pm
Thu, 12/09/04 $15.50
07:00 PM Kottonmouth Kings TROC
Wed, 12/15/04 $14.00
08:00 PM From Autumn To Ashes
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| STUPID CANADIANS! |
[15 Sep 2004|05:54pm] |
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canada won the hockey's world cup. stupid canadians.
The NHL isnt quite sure what its doing yet with that damn contract
....
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i agree with south park
BLAME CANADA!
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| children of the damned |
[30 Jan 2004|02:15pm] |
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iron maiden |
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He's walking like a small child
But watch his eyes burn you away
Black holes in his golden stare
God knows he wants to go home
Children of The Damned
[repeat another 3 times]
He's walking like a dead man
If he had lived he would crucified us all
Now he's standing on his last step
He thought oblivion well it beckons us all
Children of The Damned
Now it's burning his hands he's turning to laugh
Smiles as the flame sears the flesh
Melting his face screaming in pain
Peeling the skin from his eyes
Watch him die according to plan
He's dust on ground what did we learn
You're Children of The Damned
Your back's against the wall
You turn into the light
You're burning in the night
You're Children of The Damned
Like candles watch them burn
Burning in the light
You'll burn again tonight
You're Children of The Damned
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